Alcoholism Break-Up
My partner of over a year kicked me out yesterday. I've been drinking and hiding it from him. He was extremely upset and told me he's never loved anyone like he loves me but he can't do it anymore. I was terrible to him. I love him more than anything in this world. I'm checking into treatment tomorrow, but he won't talk to me. I'm terrified I've lost him forever.
@resourcefulTriangle1479
if it helps I understand how you feel. Know he does love you and he probably thinks that this is the best thing for you to get better. It's like tough love. Also he's been through a lot and needs to heal too. Alcoholism is horrible for the person going through it and the people around them. It's great that you are going into rehab. Tou should be proud of yourself for taking this first step to getting better. You need to focus on you and take care of yourself right now so you can heal and feel better. I wish you the best.
@agreeableZebra1378
It is not tough love, it is just the easy way out...very convenient...
@agreeableZebra1378
Banishing someone in time of need is no solution but just for the one who banishes to feel better quick....
I hope my story can help someone out there know they are not alone. I have destroyed my life and hurt so many others with alcohol, selfishness, insecurities, neediness, desperation, very low self esteem the list goes on and on. I blamed everyone else until now. I finally hit rock bottom and it opened my eyes to see that I am the problem. I've always been the problem. The constant need of feeling wanted and worth it to someone anyone. To feel loved and appreciated. I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere to someone. I turned to alcohol when any problem arised it numbed the feelings. It didn't solve anything it actually made things worse but for the moment it felt good. I didn't have to think of anything in that moment. It was a release. An unhealthy one but one nonetheless. I wish I had a time machine to go back and fix everything I ruined and people I hurt. Going back is not an option. Pushing forward is so hard. Some days I want to give up. I finally pushed everyone away there is no one left. Who can blame them. I would hate me too. I'm searching for the one glimpse of hope that everything will be ok. I'm 44 years old starting all over again. I'm terrified. Terrified to be alone and die alone. I got what I deserved. I made my bed now I have to lay in it and it's really hard to face. The truth is hard to face.
@agreeableZebra1378
I am going through that today. I only found out over this last weekend how much my neediness annoyed the one person I had in my life, he couldn't take it anymore and has left. Yes I know only I can fix myself, but how can I do this and prove it to someone who no longer wants to know me? So what is the point? It is very difficult to deal with.
You are not alone.
@resourcefulTriangle1479
After you emerge from rehab stronger I would reconsider going back to someone who did this to you in time of need, find someone else who really loves you and cares about you like you are, unless of course you depend on him for money which is very sad...
@OldSerendipityBoat
True love lies in forgiveness.
@unassumingCar5478
True love lies in being there for your loved one in good or bad not protect yourself by banishing the problem, that is not the solution...hard times are a true test to see who really loves you or whom abandons you for their own well being...forgiveness? I leave that for others greater than me...
@resourcefulTriangle1479 this happened to me a couple times. it is the most lonely feeling in the world. hang in there. this too shall pass. and he will probably come around. meanwhile be gentle with yourself. xo
...and i was going to go to rehab...but chose to start another program which eventually worked ....1000 days sober, lee davy. but it was the scariest time of my life having my new husband reject me...and we had just moved to an island . he told me he was buying me a one way ticket outta there. now that i think back i was just so ashamed and devastated. i am surprised we made it through... alot of resentments had to be worked on because of that ultimatum...
@islandgypsy
Would you have worked out those resentments due tothe ultimatum if you wrre financially independant from him?
@OldSerendipityBoat i was financially independent. it was just a sensitive time and i did not know anyone on the island. did not have a place to live but i got all my stuff and settled in a park. then he came and apologized.
@islandgypsy
I feel sad you had to do that but am glad that he was nice and appologised to you...difficult situations require for our loved ones to be with us...
I wish you all the best and only good🤗😊
@resourcefulTriangle1479 please keep us updated on how you are doing.
