A little stuck

Well during high school, I had this one best friend (We’ll call him A) and during a party we both had our first kiss together. We had a nice connection but decided that it was nice as friends and agreed to stay close friends with no feelings. We did that really well and we stayed friends until senior year where we moved country. I got into a serious relationship with someone who I thought was a kind person but it turned very toxic and borderline emotionally and 2 different times where I’d say physically abusive. During that time me and A reconnected still as friends and we’d ask each other for advice on situations and grew a lot closer like how we were on high school. I decided to leave my relationship because I couldn’t take it anymore, it was a weird time full of emotions. A however was still getting much closer and we’d talked daily and shared music and life thoughts a lot.

It’s annoying because I can see that our connection is building more and more to the point where it’s like friends who know it could be more but because of the distance right now it can’t.

He’s pretty much my dream guy, kind, understanding, emotionally open, trustworthy, attractive, good memories and so much more.

In that annoying stalemate where I have to accept it can’t really be anything but just hoping by chance sometime down the line we run into each other if we live in the same area again and then start from there.