Am I the back up plan?

Recently I separated from my husband and started "seeing" a guy I work with who also recently called off his engagement. (Longer story behind all of that). I am falling for him fast and hard and have even told him I love him (before I was ever left my husband). He will not tell me he loves me except when he is drunk or thinks I'm sleeping. It's been 4 months since we both broke up with our significant others and we still have to keep everything a secrete becauae his ex's mom works with us. He tells me all the time that I'm more than a rebound but at the same time he is still working on things with his ex. He is so hot and cold with his emotions it's hard to tell where I stand. He will not commit to me but at the same time pushes me to get my divorce and tells me I'm cheating on him if I speak to another guy. I would do anything for him to the point where I have drove towns away from where I live just to do his laundry and have spent thousands on him. Am I the back up plan/ consolation prize if him and his ex can't work things out?