Am I wrong?

I'm sorry for my English. I'm a 32 years old Italian man and I am gay. I think I lost the last four years of my life and I don't know how to get well yet. Five years ago my ex boyfriend died because of an heart attack. I found him lying on the sofa in the middle of the night and it was very horrible. I cried alot for weeks and then I felt like I finished all of my tears. After a year, when I think I was ok, I met a man and then we decided to start a new relationship. Even though he knew my past, my present scared him and I needed to change my life to stay with him. (stop smoking, stop drinking, found a new job...) The problem is that nothing of what I've done for him was and is enough. He is always complaining about everything: house care, my job, visiting parents... He says I'm not good to do, not the way he wants, everything. Even sex (last night he told me that). I tried to left him but I'm exhausted. I'm scared to left him because I know what it means losing people but I'm even scared about going back and live this way the rest of my life. I'm starting to think he's right. I'm a good for nothing, not even good to left him. Any advice?