Brokenheart

I fell in love with my best friend of 5 years because he literally the kindest man I had ever met. I didn’t tell him anything about how he was the only man I trusted since my last breakup 2 years ago. I just watched from afar. Recently, he stopped checking in. We used to test each other monthly to catch up and say hello hi how are you. He just didn’t anymore. I made the first step every time for the last 3 months. When asked he said, I’m not longer in a position to be a best friend anymore. Kindly just see me as a friend. he said that I apparently deserved a better friend. I said no my friendship with you is fine as it is. He said okay then if you are fine with it then okay. But I can’t see him the same way anymore. I trusted him. and he doesn’t know but I fell hard for him and here he was and is pushing himself away. I’m just heart broken cause did I mean this little? And I hate the fact that I love him now.