Caught up in the history
I had moved from Medford Oregon for a boy and got engaged to him. Ill always love him but since weve been living together the spark isnt there anymore. We fight and he calls me names and its dumb Ive stayed this long but how could I leave? Be on my own? I left everyone for him.....Im afraid to leave and miss out one something. He doesnt look at me the same and yet somehow Im the one who doesnt make him feel safe and secured. Its toxic and disgusting I know. But its not easy being in love with someone and then feeling like I should leave but 3 years with someone is hard.....you get to know their family...its like theyve became a part of you....I love him but Ive tired everything to get us help....to get him help....but all my tears are being wasted and Im confused. Help me.
@BLN02062000
So sorry to hear about the pain and heartache you're going through. I totally understand the emotional cost of adding up your time/energy invested into this relationship and wondering whether it's sensible to walk away from what was supposed to be forever.
Thing is, every individual does relationships differently. We have asymmetric needs from relationships just as we have different ways of operating within and defining those lines that connect us to our partner. From what you've described it sounds like you both are worlds apart in your relationship functioning and it's making both of you unhappy. I hear you that it feels scary to just walk away, do you think a little break or a visit back home or just going off for a couple of weeks to think might help?
