Changing

This is for me only, no comments please!

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I am now in a place where I feel ready to take charge of my life. I wasn’t before. I was trying my best in the areas I had to work on. But now I see the reality of staying in one place. I’m more open to receiving messages now. I feel way less closed off. And my instincts tell me that someone will come forward to talk. Who, I don’t know. I’m done with chasing. This is so important. I feel so much better.

I don’t know how I feel this much better. Two nights ago I actually had *******l thoughts, which I haven’t in years. Well, minus the time last year I found out I was possibly being cheated on. But before that it had been years. Anyway, it was serious. And now I’m okay and I don’t know how it happened. But I’m glad.

even if I’m wrong somehow about someone coming forward, I want to feel open anyway. Just feeling the need to change my scenery, my train of thoughts, my body. I feel like I’ve been ignoring my body’s signals of distress. I’ve been ignoring my mental health to an extent because I wanted to see this through. And I did. But now it’s over and I can relax. I’ve always been very comfortable being alone. I can finally let go of the weight of others and their poor decisions. Because that’s not what I did. I deserve to look back and be proud. I did the right things. I really did. I can’t do more than my best.

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This is for me only, no comments please!