Commitment issues?

I was previously in a very abusive relationship for 3 years, mental, physical, all the types you can think of.

When it ended I had a bit of a downward spiral of depression I guess because I had been conditioned to think I needed him.

5 years later I'm realising I'm still struggling with the trauma of the relationship, I've met an amazing guy, it's long distance but we've been making plans to start a life together and a family and it all sounds great but over the last month or so I've been so paranoid that he's cheating or he's got an abusive past and I think I'm just thinking these things in my head because im scared to commit in case he's like my ex.

My friends have kinda a long standing joke that over the last few years whenever I'm in a relationship as soon as it starts to get serious I break it off, I don't want to break this relationship off, I want to make this work because I love him but I don't know how to bury the feelings I have and move on and finally trust in someone else.

Can anyone help me break this cycle? Please I'm desperate 🥺