Confused
Well im doing all i can in this relationship ive failed many times in her eyes but i love nikki with all i got and trying over n over again to not be enough once again. I want to kno what she really wants from me in this relationship (someone that is going to go thrugh whatever pain it takes in situations that she knows is hurting me but still continues to do it also much often in a very offensive way and not to question it and deal with it without confrontation or else. Also be controlled and "to ,listen" all the time. I feel like the list is endless in all negative ways. Mental health is a factor in all this i take care of her in many ways as in providing her with the things shes stating she "needs from me" and ive been more then generous but some things that r unethical in a relationship r to be overlooked and not questioned and its her cheating is what im to pretend that is nonexistent.i have a very delicate emotional powerful beneficial and unique relationship healing and damaging at the same time. Im feelin depressed but also determined i need answers to fullfill echothers needs and to grow. Please help im so very much confused!
I’m sure she likes you. Don’t overthink it.
Recently I've been put into a very similar situation where I can point out that my flaws and mistakes don't define me and in fact they are the same ones everyone around us continue to make as well. But no matter how much I try to prove myself and my worth to these people, the more I'm told their reactions are all my fault because of mistakes I've made. Yes I've tried to make amends and one thing I know about myself is I always try to figure out why I made that mistake and change whatever I need to so it doesn't happen again. Which the most heart breaking and confusing of them all is my boyfriend was at the forefront of it all. No matter what these people who have only met me twice said, I at least thought he knew me enough to know I wasn't the monster they painted a picture of and that I'm just human. Most confusing of all is that he wants to work on things and stay together, but yet has admitted he doesn't forgive me, he feels they are in the right because it's my fault, I deserve what I'm getting, and apparently this is all ok to have in a relationship because I made a mistake? My head is spinning so fast that I don't even know what is what anymore and even worse is I have forgotten what I even want in a relationship. Possibly not relevant, but worth putting out there in case it was and you didn't feel like you're alone. I mean, as he puts it, he stays with me for a reason otherwise he wouldn't be here....feel like that's manipulation 101, but I just can't see it anymore.
