Confusing thoughts

This is just for me, no comments please!

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He was brought up today by someone I hadn’t caught up with in a while, and I guess it made me think of him more, because I explained what happened to my friend. It felt good to talk about but then again I am lonely in my thoughts. What he did to me was so messed up (and still is), and I keep trying to find a way to forgive him so I can not be in this rut anymore. I am doing it for me. But I don’t know how to forgive someone who can’t forgive themselves and can’t even apologize. Or speak. Or text. It’s really messed up. It’s a form of abuse (neglect).

I just want to know how. This whole time I’ve been alone and now I’m okay. But I wasn’t before.

i just need to trust my instincts. My instincts do still say that he will talk to me again. When idk. But sometime. I had so much faith and trust but it’s gone now. Why am I so hopeful? I feel stupid. For having hope.

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This is just for me, no comments please!

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