Dealing with resentment and work
Hello, ive been married for 6 yrs now and im at a point where i have anxiety 24/7 and its affecting my daily things even work. When my husband and I started dated he was extremely, even overwhelmingly affectionate, but I loved it. My issue was that I grew up being ashamed and embarrassed to be affectionate, (physically and verbally) but my husband taught me that it was okay to receive affection. At this point I was still having trouble initiating any sort of affection but I was trying. When we got married, I shut down and later on (couple years later sadly) I realized I was homesick and just didnt know how to recognize emotions. This created so much resentment from my husband and now I feel its too late as the years have gone by and sometimes he tries to connect with me but then he stops. And now, he started working a job for the past 7 months where he works past 24hrs and has no days off and I feel so neglected and sad. I feel that we need to talk about what is going on especially with this job that is affecting our relationship from lack of connection and im afraid for his health if he keeps working like this. I dont even hear from him in the day and lately ive been begging for 10 minutes of his time and he cant seem to make that happen. I decided to leave it alone and focus on myself, but I dont know if there is anything else I can do so he can know that I love him. I try to send him messages that I miss him and love him. And if he has eaten and i can take him food to work. I do all his chores since he has no time. Idk what else I can do at this point. He said he loves me but it just feels hes almost done with me.
Hi bluePenguin1715. I feel so connected to your story! Although I am not married I have been in a relationship for a couple years, we moved to a state where we both don’t have any family or friends two years ago and we are currently in the process of figuring out how to move back to the state that I am from. My boyfriend works 12 hour night shifts, his car has been in the shop for about 4 months now, I am currently unemployed and have just discovered a personal health issue that might greatly impact our figure. Trust me girlfriend I feel your pain. I too took all the time I wasn’t spending with my partner but sometimes you want someone else to acknowledge you especially if that person was very affectionate which in my case and as it sounds in yours is the same. In situations like this when I feel very frustrated I try to remember what my partner is currently going through and try to figure out if I can put the pieces together. For example my boyfriend has been pretty short with me, and I feel like I am bending over backwards trying to be nice to him and do little favors for him. When in his mind he is super stressed about his car, our future move, paying almost all the bills since I’m currently unemployed. And afterwards it makes sense. I feel like explaining to him in a way that is understand of his feelings will help him understand where you are coming from.
Thank you. Its so hard to cope everyday thinking that hes done with me and that he probably avoids talking to me to get ready to say hes giving up. I really hope its just work and communication 😢 Im sorry youre going through this. Just not having support around you must be very difficult as well. Its so frustrating when all one wants is reassurance and even worse, they start acting angrier each time. It messes with your mind so much but I guess all we have left to do is be patient. I hope you can have some good quality time with your significant other. Wish you all the best in your relationship and happiness.
