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Dealing with stress

User Profile: pioneeringBlueberry8086
pioneeringBlueberry8086 September 17th, 2021
I have come across a similar post on this group but I am seeking advice in my situation. I and my partner got recently married after dating for about 5 years. The last year and a half are when we truly lived together. Currently, we are staying a few hours apart because of work locations. A constant theme during the time we lived together and that has continued to until this day is a constant existential crisis on her end. I did empathize with it at times such as getting a new job and acclimated to a new job. But just listening to her problems and trying to comfort her in any possible manner including intervention from friends has not made the situation any better. I have become the default cribbing board that she can dump her troubles all day every day.
This has taken a new toll recently because I have a lot on my plate and I had taken ill (possibly covid - scheduled to get tested). I have not found a bone of empathy from her end. When I brought it up she realized and was sorry about it. For a few hours after that, she made courtesy calls to ask how I was doing only to follow up with how tired and frustrated she is. All this together along with the fact that she wants to move in with me to help with her stress scares me even more. I do not want to be filled with negativity and lose motivation in my work. However, I do truly love her and care for her. I have even suggested therapy to her which she has resisted considering. Where do I go from here and is there anything I can do?

TLDR: Partner constantly complains about everything (Esp work) and empathizing with her is not helping
4
September 18th, 2021

Hi, welcome to the community. I hope you are doing well.


I'm sorry you are going through something like this, and your feelings are valid. May I ask if she doesn't like therapy did you suggest platforms like this or any help groups around you ?



User Profile: IcecreamPudding
IcecreamPudding September 18th, 2021

Hi @pioneeringBlueberry8086,

I'm sorry hear that. That sounds tough. Have you tried talking to her about it? That even when you want to, you find it difficult to support her at all times.

Do you think it might help you to establish some boundaries with her?

7cups has a really good guide on setting boundaries. You might wanna give it a read: https://www.7cups.com/boundaries/

Don't hesitate to ping me if you wanna talk more about it.


2 replies
User Profile: pioneeringBlueberry8086
pioneeringBlueberry8086 OP September 18th, 2021

Thank you very much for that useful guide! I have tried mentioning it more than once but I have not made it explicit that doing so benefits me. I have usually talked about why it's useful to relax and talk outside of work life and so on. But I have been recently voicing my opinion on this more directly. Hope this works !


1 reply
User Profile: IcecreamPudding
IcecreamPudding September 19th, 2021

You're very welcome!


I too think stating your opinions directly might help. I wish you all the best.


And I hope you're doing better since you said you were sick. Take care! (:

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