Dear Bestfriend

I was helplessly in love with you and you knew it. You knew I was always going to be there for you as someone who knew you the best (but I know now, you can't even be honest with yourself). Even as you show complete disregard for what you did to me, I am driving myself insane worrying about you and repeating the cycle of self doubt inside me that you have deeply ingrained.

You violated so many of my morals and boundaries that I told myself I would never let anyone cross. All the times you called me a whore, slut, unworthy of anyone's love broke my heart. Every time you accused me of cheating, my instinct was to prove to you that I wasn't doing what you claimed I was. I tried to be perfect for you but was never enough. I looked at you with complete adoration and love in my eyes even as you abused me. You said it yourself, "the way you look at me is how someone looks at a king." I took blame for everything because you would never admit fault and I just wanted to be happy..

You left me damaged as a result of your narcissistic tendencies and inability to love. In the end I realized all the things you demonized me for, were things you had commited and projected on to me. You cheated on me and the other woman had an STI. You chose her over me and moved so quickly with her. But still strung me along, saying how she was a mistake and you loved/missed me. You don't do the things you did to me to someone you love.

You broke my heart into a million pieces. I loved you & you broke me