Drinking and behaviour when drunk
Me and my fiance have been together for almost 3 years and we are due to get married in November this year.
When he drinks outside of the home such as with friends or in a bar he does not know when to stop and then forgets what he has done, said or does.
For example this Saturday just gone he went out in afternoon and we had plans for going out to dinner later that night approx 8 hours later. Approx 30 mins before he was due home I had messages and calls with him changing his mind, telling me he is not coming home, he will be home in half an hour or saying he will be home after another drink.
In the end he came home and we had a really big argument about him moving the goalposts and letting me down on the plans we had made. This typically happens and he was so hungover we also had to cancel our Sunday plans.
I am really annoyed about having the same argument every so often and he feels guilty, I feel guilty and then it happens again and nothing changes.
Any fresh ideas on how I can navigate this?
Thank you Abbie
Hi @Abbiec2be. While I cannot give advice I can understand your frustration. Your fiance makes these plans and then totally has to bail the idea because he is intoxicated. It sounds like you two are on two slightly different pages. Have you tried explaining to him (when he isn't intoxicated) why it is important to you to keep the plans? If he is intoxicated when you tell him he is most likely hearing but not comprehending why it makes you so upset. 3 years is a long time so do you think sitting down and going over goals and rules you want in your life would be beneficial to share with him? You know yourself and him best so that is something you will have to figure out. I hope things start going better for you!
Hi @wonderfulrainbow817 Thank you for your reply.
These past few days myself and my Fiance have discussed things over and he is of the opinion that because it doesn't happen daily or weekly, he doesn't take drugs or gamble, or do anything bad that it should be ok for this to happen. I am in a situation now where he feels he has no freedom and I have to put up with it here and there.
We have had several conversations about this spanning about 2 years and each time it comes back. It's not worth losing our relationship over but there appears to be no compromise either.
Thanks for your reply and best wishes
@Abbiec2be, have you tried couples counseling? That way there is a neutral party involved.
I haven't tried it no, but I have started looking for some in our local area.
