Feeling so lost and broken... what do I do?

I have always felt like my life was a mess but in the past couple months things seemed to nose dive downward even more..

While I was so excited to adopt my Goddaughter and have that family that I have always desparately wanted... it has been overshadowed by everything else shattering...

I have been trying SO hard to basically "grow up" even more for the sake of my daughter and her Grandmother who I have also taken in to care of. Trying so hard to be VERY responsible to give them (and myself) the safe happy life we all have been deprived of.. while at the same time my boyfriend of EIGHT years fights it at every step of the way. He has become so mean and aggressive and incredibly irriesponsible. Tries to go for the low blows all the time. Refuses to help financially. Expects me to do and know everything while also constantly telling me I do nothing and am lazy. He will flip between being so aggressive to all of a sudden acting like things are perfectly fine. He is trying to play all these mind games.. makes me feel like he is playing psychological warfair to "win" agaisnt me, cept im not playing is game. It feels like he doesnt want me to do "better." Since we own this place together i cant force him to leave and he knows this so he uses that to his advantage and plays even more mind games with going in and out. I am in the process of applying for another place but the waiting game is driving me insane! I feel like im losing my mind. I feel soo alone and lost and just have no idea what to do anymore.