Filling the Void

—this message is for me only, no comments please. Thank you.—

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Idk what I’m writing. But I know I need to share something. I think that before this relationship, in the other one I had, there was a void inside me. I found peace on my own. And then I met my soulmate. I felt blissful and home. It was torn away from me, after giving up everything. I still have hope. I feel like a soldier who should be hopeless for their situation, but instead I have faith and reason. I don’t think my ego is inflated. I try my best to keep myself in check. I try to treat myself kindly.

On the other hand...I do sometimes question what I’m fighting for. But then I remember that warmth of home with my soulmate. If I can’t have that again, I guess that’s fate. But I’m okay being by myself. I love myself.

There’s no one I’d rather be with than me. My soulmate is second choice.

But I do love him. And I never expected him to be a guy. I always thought I’d fall in love with a woman again. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

It was a surprise to both of us. The way we met. The love that we found...

I do have faith, but I’m not blind. I want to be with him, but not at the cost of losing myself.

I do wish he would feel worthy...

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—this message is for me only, no comments please. Thank you.—