Forgive and Forget for the best?
My moms and I are a bit too nice to family members my aunt and her bratty kids lived with us for a long while and they treated us all like crap trying to mentally manipulate bending over backwards to make us out to be the villains they all lied, fought with us, disregarded our rules, and not doing what they were supposed to like getting off of drugs, going to school, chores ect my aunt lied about a car accident and we had to get the full story from her daughter her son has been showing signs of becoming a phycopath and her daughter uses her PTSD, which we all kinda believe is a misdiagnosis depression yes PTSD mmm maybe not, to manipulate her already pretty broke parents to get her toys and such and their mother not living up to the promises she made and then lying about it putting church and sex before her children they have since moved out and were last seen at six flags by a family friend and honestly I worry about them my Aunt burned a bridge over a little decision my mom made when she was twelve my Aunt asks for out help but doesn't accept it and I want to help them stay out of prison, psych wards and homeless shelters I want to we all want to help but they aren't letting us and honestly I try to forgive and forget the things they said and did to my mothers but I'm not sure of I can what they did really hurt us but I still feel as though it's our fault even just a little I feel like we truly did something to drive them away and I just want to know if we can't help them
@Endoftheworld I'm sorry that you were put through so much by your family members. I don't blame you for feeling hurt and I would feel the same way if I was in your position. Something I have learned it that you can't help those who don't want to helped and it's one of the most frustrating things ever. But it is their choice and they we have to accept it. When it comes to forgiveness, it is extremely hard to do but you will feel better to have let all of that hurt go. As a result you will be happier and more calm. I hope I have helped a little in some say. Take care. 💕
@Endoftheworlda
Darling, it is NOT your fault. You did all you could, given the situation.
@Owllistentoyou is right, sometimes it is frustrating when we want to help people who don't wanna be helped. I sincerely wish your fam the best.
Now breathe, and let go of things you can't control.
From what I got from your story, your aunt's family wasn't the best family to hang out with (in fact, they're rather toxic--I'm sorry if I got it wrong--and some therapists suggest to cut off toxic ppl from our life). It may sound cruel, but again, you've tried helping them. Now it's time to move on.
We cannot solve all this world's problem, but we can lead by example. Focus on things you can control. And that is, to being the happier and better version of yourself, and to have a stable and emotionally healthy family--be it your closest fam now (such as you, your parents and siblings), or your future family of your own. You have the power to do this.
You have to learn to say "no", dear. You already did your best. It's not worth your emotion, energy, finance, and time anymore, you (and your Mom) already invested so much. Let it go.
Someday your aunt's family will learn their lesson. In the meantime, pray for their well being (if you believe in it), but don't let them walk all over you. Don't be ashamed of not helping them anymore. It is not your fault.
I have a friend who has a tendency like you (helping others even if it affects him negatively, a lot). It's destroying him. I don't want the same thing happens to you.
Forgive your aunt's family--they don't know any better. Move on. And smile. There are so much things in life that you can still do and are in your control. Focus on the positives and be content with your life :)
@Endoftheworld
(Tagged you incorrectly before, sorry!)