I've been with my partner for a year and 2 months and I found out he was paying for web camming other girls and also sent them lingerie once to wear in the videos and pics. The way I found out was going through his internet banking as I knew something was going on because our sex life was fault wrong quite badly and I knew because he had the girls names as the banking reference. We had a really big argument and he said he would stop and cease all types of that communication. We even cheered to a new chapter in our relationship and he said he realised he has been taken me for granted. We went on a weekend away and had great sex and a great time together. I was still really paranoid so I recorded him at home after he dropped me to work as I know that's when he might do things and he called a girl off an app called 'Skout' to get some pics and videos off and called her a stunner. That morning that I had started recording him I asked him if he was still contacting anyone he said no I only want to be with you and love you. So I was hoping he was telling the truth but I got to work the next day after collecting my recording and realised he had called that girl. I was so angry I called him and he said he realises he may have a problem now and deactivated Skout that afternoon after he called that girl as he knew it was wrong. I then asked for his Skout username and password to see her has been happening and he had had multiple pics and dirty conversations with girls. One conversatio
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one conversation a girl asked for pics of him having sex with another girl and he posted some pics of him and a woman having sex on our bed. So of course I asked and he admitted to cheating 5 months ago and he realised straight after it was a huge mistake. I am absolutely gutted and I really thought he was the one I'm not making excuses for him but I thought he would be the last person to cheat! He says he wants to do anything to save our relationship and he has organised counselling for us tonight I just don't know who to get through this I am shocked that he has done this! Any advice I'd be grateful for!
I am so incredibly sorry to hear that you have been going through this with your husband. I know that it must feel like such a betrayal to you. I can understand how you can feel shocked and devastated. Advice is so easy to give but it may not work for you. However, a relationship is supposed to be between two people and because on his end, it hasn't, your trust must be broken. I can understand why you set up something in the room because I would've probably wanted to do the same exact thing. Now, your relationship with him is lacking trust and communication which are two essential parts of any marriage. It's a good thing to hear that he is sorry and wants to go to counseling which may be helpful to you. However, if you do think that he has a problem, you should definitely encourage him to seek someone such as a therapist. Hopefully, that will be helpful to him and to your relationship. Whether or not you should forgive him is entirely your choice but if forgiveness is given, you two need to work on communication and honesty. He needs to be honest with you and most importantly, faithful. Otherwise, the marriage most likely will fail. I hope that you two work it out and everything goes well!
@cheerfulDay083
we went to counselling and the lady was really good she told him exactly what I've been trying to say for a long time but I think coming from a professional it sunk in more for him thank goodness! List of things below she said to him!
- he needs to grow up in a hurry as I've obviously matured before him and if he doesn't want to lose me
- he'll really have to change and it will be difficult.
- he cannot have his cake and eat it too, it's either me or the other things he's been doing which would be a very lonely silly decision
- he needs to change his routine if he is going to change if nothing changes nothing will change
- he needs to go to counselling once a week and she also said I should go and see someone as she can see I'm very angry and hurt and thinks me talking to someone would be beneficial as she can see at the moment I'm very stressed
- this is not going to be easy for either of us, I asked her if I would ever be able to get trust back and move on with our relationship as I feel very numb towards my partner at the moment and she said she can see our relationship is worth saving as we have so many positives in our relationship.
she was really good I'm still feeling very upset I'm just hoping this feeling of anger and stress will subside a bit as I feel very tense all of the time, thankyou for your kind words it really helps!!!
@samcap86 Gather your friends and let them support you :) I read today from someone here on 7cups this line: t's okay to lean on others. We all need people to help us, and there's nothing wrong with that." And I could not agree more. Please do find help and get people close to you to help you out :) you will get though this! Stay strong!
@samcap86
My lady, When ever we humans failed to guard against Evil. All evil does is put thoughts that corrupts our thinking. Once thoughts get corrupt we lose control and results often are devastating.
A murder can be forgiven if it is committed by individuals as an accident or in rage and it is not repetitive in nature. However, if a murder is committed again and again than it is considered as crime, it is no longer forgivable.
There are two types of criminals, one who concealed his sins and other the most dangerous one is admitting openly to satisfy a illusion of self invincibility.
It's also true that no one can defeat evil; cause it takes individuals down to that level where it can easily defeat good, with its skills and experience of being evil.
In my experience, I rather not have a relationship than feeling helpless and victimized in the name of sympathy.
If you are going to fight, then human law would put you in a miserable position.
And for some reason if you won the battle then you would be like that soldier who carries the medal at his chest as a symbol of victorious but remain evaluating its losses in fight till rest of his life. continued. ...
@diplomaticCoconut6613
Based on what you have described, I think you have done the justice with the relation.
I am hoping that you don't have any kids. If that's the case then it is less painful in walking away from this relation.
Keep your fingers crossed and continue the journey of life with or without partner. Don't let this stop you of being who you're. Just like that Soldier who put the stone over his heart and continue on fighting while carrying the burden of losses, ensuring that his / her vows and the vows of fallen will be honored.
