Giving him another chance
I found out that my partner met up with his ex recently. A little bit of a back story: she has been trying to get him back for months and he firmly doesn't want to get back together with her. He didn't think I reacted well last time we talked about her so that's why he didn't tell me he met up with her. When I asked him if he's seen her recently he said no, and it took a little bit of probing to find out the truth. We determined that he lied about answering my initial question and not telling me about the meet up cuz he didn't want to start a conflict over "nothing". We later determined that not being honest and transparent causes more conflict. He acknowledged his mistake and we made it clear to not have dishonesty and be transparent in the future. I was so close to just breaking up with him before that, but him acknowledging it and agreeing not to do it again made me give him another chance. I'm summarizing it, but we detailed out my cexpectations of being honest and transparent. P.s. the main problem I had was the lying, but I do know that there is nothing going on romantically with them, the meetup was just to exchange belongings. I don't want to detail how I know that's true, but I am comfortable with that. I don't want to talk about it anymore, and even feel slightly triggered writing this, but I did want to get an outsider's perspective on the situation, my decision, etc.
@unassumingCake252
Setting boundaries and expecting transparency and communication is a great thing, and a good relationship will grow from that level of respect. Because at the end of the day, honesty equals respect. Keep expecting others to rise to that level! Over time, communicating openly will become the habit, and that's going to make you both stronger partners. When someone cannot be honest that's a signal that they are not confident and secure. And relationships are hard when there's no security. I applaud you for expecting more of your partner.
@unassumingCake252,
sometimes we do things to protect the other, and/or because we expect the other to react badly if we tell them something they find hard to hear, or the other might jump to conclusions.
I understand why you feel the way you feel, I wouldn't call it lying though. He did not intentionally wanted to mislead you.
