Having lots of relationship and like depression issues.

So.. I was in an abusive marriage. Like physically and emotionally. And I stayed 5 years because I had a hard time feeling safe enough to fully leave. I slept in a different room and avoided him but he said he would hurt himself if I left and like it was a constant emotional battle. Anyways, finally had my best friend step in and help me leave. He helped me get the protection order and file charges, even drove down to see me and stay with me until I felt safer..

..but then we fell in love and he took me with him back home.. well now I’m 4 months pregnant. It wasn’t planned and I have some health issues but surprisingly it’s going well. But.. now the best friend now boyfriend is kinda hard to handle while I am this emotional.. he has his own things he struggles with and I always feel responsible for healing him.. which he keeps saying is not my job and that we just gotta be there for each other anyhow. But he was single for ages before trying to step in to help me so he is still getting use to all this. He had a 21 year old son already, which I adore. Great kid.. but me and the bf are like 7 years apart age wise and I’m not as mature as him cause of some.of my trauma as a kid and how bad my autism is. And I didn’t have a great dad, he is almost a creep and like I don’t think I a, very good at navigating relationships.. and now is a bad time to fail.. and even though things are good.. I’m just so scared and I don’t have as many of my hobbies or cooping mechanisms here. I use to do art, play video games, yoga, go for walks and so on. I don’t have my Oculus quest anymore or my consoles and so on. It’s just been hard making such a big adjustment..

🥲🙃

P.S. I’m 32 and this is my first time having a kid.. but I just kinda seem like I’m about 24 mentality and looks wise cause I have some issues with my hormones cause of Addison’s disease. People always assume I am young and don’t take me seriously. So it’s tough to explain how hard regular life is sometimes cause.. too many people around make me nervous. And I’m a bit awkward.