He is always justifying

Hi everybody, how are y'all doing today? On this nice Sunday? I'm very new to 7 cups. I haven't had a good chat session yet. However I've vented here and there with a few. Well here it goes.......

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we live together. We have a beautiful baby boy that just turned 3 years old. On top of him I have 2 daughters 8 & 10 years old. My boyfriend has a other son 5 years old. They doy live with us. That's a whole other subject for another day. The reason why I bring the children up us because even though they don't live with us, our life is not about just me and him anymore. It's about our children. So that's one reason why we haven't called it quits. Not the main one just one of them. The main reason we haven't broken up us because there is Love in our relationship. If we can set aside our differences and disagreements clearly there's love. And it's so beautiful and amazing. Unfortunately we can't and won't set our differences aside. It feels like one of us is ALWAYS right and a bad person while the other one is such a perfect saint that is always right and NEVER does anything wrong.

so my question is why????? Why can't he assume responsibility of his own actions?? Why can't he ever admit that he did wrong or accept the things I tell him about myself. For example in August we both got COVID-19, I got it first though in Vegas. We live in California, he had to drive the whole way back. I was too sick, too horribly sick. And when we got home he was in bed for about 3 day's. He is back to normal. I in the other hand is still struggling with the covid-19 side effects. Such as my anxiety. My anxiety has been oof the wall ever since. I don't have control over it like I usually do. For instance I love to drive. No matter what time of day or night it may be I love driving

. But since the covid-19 I don't and can't drive at night and he doesn't understand that. I tell him that f I ever get asked anything about covid-19 my answer is going to be is that "COVID IS REALLY REALLY REAL AND YOU DON'T COME BACK THE SAME"! Well his response to that was oh cut it out. You didn't get it bad as me.

i was so so so bothered by his comment. I asked him I'm sorry but are we doing n a competition here????

he is always justifying everything he does and says. He never does anything or he never hurts my feelings. Why?? Why can't he see himself or hear himself??

yeah I step up to my responsibilities with the thought in mind that there could be consequences and I'll be ready to face them . Yeah I say sorry and I actually know why I'm sorry and what I did. It may seem like I don't care because I might do it again however it's not intentional. I obviously don't know how to fix it or what to do. And I'll eventually get it just bare with me.

can someone please give me feed back ?? Please helpe understand him because I'm going to go get insane. Thank you. Oh I don't think this matters but I'm 37 years old soon to be 38 and he is 27. Thank you all.