Help managing bad feelings / emotions towards people I care about

So, I really struggle having healthy friendships (and relationships in general). They look ok on the outside as long as I keep certain things hidden. But I am often filled with feelings of resentment, dissapointment, disdain, lack of respect, doubt and mistrust and so on. I know it's nothing new and many people are the same, but I really hate being fake to people.

The last episode was when a friend of mine texted me telling me she wont be working anymore and asking me if we could meet. I did not see the message immediatly, so she called me a couple minutes later. I rejected the call because I was at work and because to be honest something about her pissed me off.

I texted her later telling her I did no have lots of time today (which is true, I've been neglecting my issues for a while and am trying to get them under control). I asked her whether it ws something urgent, since her text about not working was a bit ambiguous. She clarified the part about her department being shut down in january. I felt bad and told her that I had about 1 hour and a half. She told me "It's ok, let's meet tomorrow".

On one hand I really care for this friend. I want her to do well. She is a decent person with a very good heart, she has been suppotive of me many times (and so have I). But I also have this desdain for her dependent attitude and how she won't take charge and responsibility for her life. Some of the things she says are rather appalling to my core beliefs about self respect. So when she seems so dependent and thoughtless in her attempts to get help, I can't help but think that she has it coming.

Also I have come to a point when I analyse and interpret every little thing she does. She knows I am at work, so can't she send me 1 text message with the whole sentence instead of 5 messages of 1 word each? When I don't reply in a couple of minutes she calls me? I may be in a meeting or in the middle of something. Why can't she explain things properly, telling me she is upset because of the news she got and would like to see me? Instead she sends a confusing message I can barely make sense of? And no, it has nothing to do with being shocked. She does this all the time. She doesn't seem to think that at work I cannot have my phone ring all the time, I cannot have phone conversations over things that aren't all that important. She is quite late more than half the times we meet, and always has some trivial excuse (as if my time does not atter). She has trouble (and lack of responsibility) in managing her finances and asks me at the last minute to lend her money. Moreover she is late when we are supposed to meet for the money, ignoring the fact that I am using my break and will probably skip lunch. She asks me to go to her place or come to mine when she is alone at home because she is afraid of being alone at night (she is 28 and has been living away from her family for longer that I have. Also her house is in a good neighbor, mine isn't). She expects me to be her english translator or fill in for her lack of english knowledge, because for the past 5 years we know each other, she keps saying she should learn english but never did. She has time to watch tv (soap operas mostly), go out and use social media.

She made the (imo) stupid mistake of wearing a hijab in a country where practicing muslims are prejudiced. I get that it came from a good place, but it was not a smart decision and she knew it while she took it. Moreover she studied literature, which is the type of profession that will leave you unemployed in my country. She has made 0 attempts to gain other skills or grow professionally, so she is a prejudiced woman in a dead job market with no advantages, and has no intention on changing that.

I try to pity her. But when her attitude is living off her soon-to-be-husband or getting a job though acquintaces, and trying to get a job only so that she won't have to help her soon-to-be-mother in law, I just can't. I love her, but I don't respect her one bit.

There are women and men, muslims and non-muslims, graduates of literature and other professions, even kids, trying to change their odds every day. My brother will be 14 next year. He might have to work during summer to help our parents. When she complains I just wan to tell her that she has it coming.

Isn't it such an awful thing to think of a friend? How can I make peace with these two sides of me?