Her ex

So My ex and I broke up in August because I caught her cheating, I had zero intention of doing anything serious for a long time, even toyed with the idea of saying fuck it Id rather be alone. This girl walks in and we both are on the same page that hey we both arent looking for serious, just want to hang out and see where it goes, and Im sure youve heard it before but like she is the one

As lame and exaggerated as it sounds it just simply makes sense. We both get each other and all that other mushy crap and we both just clicked.

Her baggage:

So I knew from the get go that one of her exs was still around in her life, I didnt know to what extent and in the beginning she made it seem like he was just around and they kept in touch from time to time.

Then it was they hang out from time to time

Then it was not from time to time it was fairly consistent.

And then I started pressing her about him and what the deal was and she was always super defensive about their friendship because no one understands everyone just judges etc etc.

I have been attempting to swallow that pill and its not gone well, Ive pushed back on it a little with her and shes very defensive of their friendship and Im not totally stoked about it.

We ran in circles and argued about it a few times and today I finally got the full story from her.

The full story:

So essentially they dated while she was really young, like in high school, they were each others rock for all the hard times in each others lives and she eventually started to feel like just friends instead of boyfriend and girlfriend, and that she was being held back by a relationship with him, and she didnt see her future with him and all that Jazz, they broke up, he wasnt happy, they stopped talking for a while, they both grew up a little bit and rekindled their friendship. They stayed friends and so it went. She told me today that over this last summer the two of them slept together. She said that was the deciding moment for them that they knew they were not meant for anything besides being friends and that it wasnt going anywhere. Then she and I started talking and here we are.

The issue:

I think Im just feeling suffocated by this guy, like hes so involved and they are so close I feel like Im kinda stuck outside, like theyve been through so much together and have this bond and I guess Im just threatened by that in the way that they already have so much and we dont have that much together if that makes sense. And I dont know if its something I can be totally okay with at this point in our relationship since its so new, and Im already a tough person to love in the first place, and its like everytime I turn around she has something from him. A text, A Snapchat, a missed phone call, she has a little heart next to his name in her phone, they still have a bunch of pictures from when they were together. And Im not questioning her intent with me, I think she really does care, she hasnt tried to hide anything, she just doesnt divulge everything to me. And I get that and Im not worried about the content, more the context. I guess the long and short is that I dont feel like theres enough room to develop our own foundation when theres is already in place.

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