How do I convince my boyfriend to get help?
I've always been a very supportive girlfriend, and I'd listen whenever he needed to talk, I'd cuddle him whenever he felt lonely. But I don't know how much help I can give on my own anymore. I've tried to convince him to try this website, but he's completely given up on himself.
What do I do?
@peachkitty it breaks my heart to see him like this.
i would suggest couples conseuling maybe it would help but it depends if you can get him to go with you or not. I hope you find a souluation really soon
My heart goes out to you, since my most recent relationship (that lasted six years) had ended with my ex-girlfriend breaking up with me because I wasn't willing to take care of my mental health sooner (I was anxious, burnt-out, and resorting to self-harm). And as she also has mental health concerns of her own, she needed to have space from me in order to manage her own anxiety.
This is not to say that you should issue an ultimatum of "seek help or I'll end the relationship because I can't bear to see you like this" (as she had done to me twice in our relationship).
This is to say that you should thoroughly explain to him how you're feeling. It sounds like although you're able to provide him with support right now, it won't be enough in the long run--he will need to take steps to reach out to his friends, his family, his support group...seek a counselor or therapist...
Be upfront with him about how you're going to need more support in order to help him. Since otherwise, you won't be able to be there for him if you burn yourself out or don't have time to take care of your own mental health. You can offer to help him look up a counselor or therapist, or see if there are other peer support groups that may work for him (and attend them with him if you're able to), or see if there are other resources to help him out. And yeah, having couples' counseling or therapy would be a good start--it'll give you an environment to have someone to mediate this type of discussion in a safe space.
And if it all gets too much, please don't be hard on yourself if you wish to end the relationship because you need to take care of your own mental health. Boundaries are important to maintain and respect in a relationship of any sort.
I hope it won't come to that point, but this is a wake-up call for him to understand that building a support network is important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
(I honestly wished I've done all of that sooner rather than have it escalate to this point. So I'm sorry if this all sounds somewhat rough. I wish y'all all the best.)
@peachkitty hardcore andd will work..
break up or get help
@peachkitty update: he's willing to try again, but we're looking for methods other than meds and talk therapy! any suggestions?
