How will he trust me?

I did the dumbest thing by not deleting the text during that period and he saw them! Before he could read them all I grabbed my phone out of his hand and deleted the messages... wrong move, because now he really doesnt trust me and thinks it happened during our relationship which it didn't.

To be honest the best thing you could do is breaking up with him. I had a similar experience with my ex. He didn't trust me at all and he told me i did everything wrong. He was hurt and i undestood that but at the same time i was justifying toxic actions. It only caused pain for the both of us. If you want to be together, recognize any mistake you made and let him know that. And if he wants to be together as well, he also has to be willing to trust you again. Talk with him about his insecurities and find a way to improve. You both need to put effort and energy if you want to be together.

@purplerain2021
I disagree with other comments on here honestly, telling you to end the relationship. Without knowing who you are, how old you are, if you have children, how dependant on this partner you are, your whole situation in general - I can't tell you what to do. It would be harmful for me to try.

For me, the absolute BIGGEST thing in relationships - the thing that works everytime - the thing that, if you consistently do this correctly - should never cause arguments, fall outs or upset. Is communicating. But you have to communicate openly and honestly.

Start by saying something like " now we are back together following our break I really want us to build on this and be stronger and move forward together. I think we can do this by being open and honest with each other."

Then arrange a time convenient for you both - maybe choose a neutral environment - coffee shop, restaurant, garden or just the kitchen/living room. "Are you free to have a conversation? If not, can we schedule one in soon please?"

Ask open questions - " Tell me. . . " "Describe to me. . . " " Explain to me. . ."

e.g. - describe to me how you're feeling about our relationship right now? tell me about what you want for us? explain to me your expectations of me so that I know your needs

It's important to be open, honest and calm. Don't let things escalate and make sure you allow time for each other to voice your opinions. Don't blame or accuse - try not to get defensive. It's an act of intimacy opening up about your deep thoughts and emotions, take it slow and really let the words sinkn in.

In this situation from what you've told me - be completely open about what happened and when (again not defensive). Your partner feels as though there may have been a cross over - think about how they feel right now - try to empathise - how would you feel?

Be re-assuring..

In the end if things really are not working about - if it's negative, if it's no longer fun and the romance and intimacy isn't there it may be best to part ways - never, ever hold on to a relationship because you're scared to let it go.

I hope this helps even if it's only a little - I truly wish you all the best - good things are coming your way <3

@purplerain2021,

I totally agree with angelofcompassion.

I'd like to add to leave the past for what it is, past. It's the here and now that matters. And I know, that can be tough, as your mind tends to want to take over. Be present, be in the now. Maybe, when the both of you, sit down, start by taking some deep, slow breaths, for as longs as it takes, until you start feeling at ease. Look each other in the eyes, and start talking from your heart.