I don’t know how to move forward from here

Once again from the top... in my early 20s I was really depressed, life was starting to show how hard it could be, couldn't pay tuition to go to the school I applied and got accepted to, gf went off to university and cheated on me and the next girl emasculated me for being able to do what she considered "women tasks" ie cooking, cleaning, doing and folding laundry. One of my friends at the time, trying to help, invited me to a gaming/anime cafe that opened up, accepted went in and a girl caught my eye, and every time we would go this girl would always catch my eye. I crushed, I started talking to said girl and things were going well, age was a problem though being 6 to 5 years her senior wasn't good, but we still tried to keep things nice. One day I had a bout of real bad depression and, not delving too much into personal matters, I fell into a deep dispair and proceeded to shut off the world around me, all friends, no heads up, nothing, fell off the face of the earth.
Fast forward a few years, we reconnected on social media, she was cute and much to my surprise her personality was still much the same just evolved since we were now adults. She has been together with someone for a while now and soon to marry, this was honestly fine by me, I was happy to be a friend again to someone I disconnected with and a connection with.
Fast forward a few months, the person I had been interested in dissapeared, I knew the reasons why but it didn't change the fact that it hurt, bad. After a few weeks and months, I accepted and moved on. Determined by loving my self more and being happy with who I was and had become.
Fast forward a year or 2, she's married but not happy, he's become this person that sees her as an object rather than a person and I become a vent to her. Told her to tak to him, have a heart to heart, things she's already done but it's simply done, she wants out. Then she tells me that she's been talking with another person she knows, I warn her not to get attached because of what one offers and the other doesn't but it's too late she's already lured to greener pastures that unfortunately don't turn out to be. She's now more depressed, the new bfs lack of physical affection hits her self esteem hard and one day I tell her to let me treated her one night to get away from it all and just have some fun. That night comes we meet, we have fun till she finally breaks down and just cries everything out, I hold her hand to support her and in the end she looks better, happy even to shed all this with someone finally. But after that night things changed, our conversations got intimate, we would share fantasies, second time we hanged out we almost kissed, I resisted telling myself "no she's got a bf and she's still in the divorce process, you do this everything gets messy", I got home and she tells me the same how she almost pulled me in.
However, from that night things changed, I definetly wanted more, I wanted to give us a chance and for her to drop her bf, she wanted to give them a chance, as another week passed and she still vented and we shared fantasies i pushed again and she pushed back it's not the right time, she can't be what I want her to be and we need to be friends. So I back off, but things still stayed some what the same between us and every night when things got too real she would tell me another reason why we can be, until one day she told me the truth, she still hurting from when I dissapeared from her life the first time, she loved me more than I knew and it hurt her greatly when I just dissapeared and never told anyone, that now over the years I came back got to know her and gotten to like her for her, she can't, even though there is a part of her that really does and whenever she thinks about what we could be, the pain comes back to remind her. Friends is what we could be, maybe in the future she said but no guarantees since it's been all these years and she's still not over that. Even if we tried there is no guarantee that with all the hurt she's been through that one day she just wouldn't be gone. So relented to just being friends, I though about just blocking and moving on, but I couldn't to a friend a known for so long and not to mention to me it felt like I would be going back to who I was before. So as I'm trying to reestablish the boundaries of what it is to be friends again, she tells me she's slept with someone and it just wrecks me, I try to be a friend because of course she feels guilty about having cheated but at the same time she's trying to wrap her head around it while I'm trying to calm her and not let my own feelings get in the mix. These few weeks have been rough... I been watching videos and reading articles about how to get over rejection and heart break and I still have days where I slip, I start day dreaming just to get a fix of happy and then try to break myself out of it. I been going out more to try to be more social and even making plans to go to the gym to work on me for me. But I still have these days where all my work trying to get over this slump just dissapear under me and I go back to checking social media and day dreaming and between trying to stay a friend and trying to go back to this new normal I'm just trying not to crack sometimes. So I ask, what else can I do to help me along or am I doing what I need to be doing and I just need to give things time for my head to sort itself out?