I don’t know what to do

Hi Friends, I (32M) have been in a relationship with a 36F for 5 years (More than 4 years in long distance relationship). I am in India and she was in Canada. We decided to get married in February 2021 and since I am unable to apply for a visa to Canada due to inadmissibility, I asked her to come back to India and she came back. After she came back we ended up having a major issue and I ended things with her. However since the Valentine week we met and slowly started communicating and were able to resolve our issues. I had a messed up childhood in which I saw continuous shit in my parents marriage n which still happens today. I have an elder brother by 5 years n he moved out of the house for graduation n making his life n I got left alone in the house with my mom. During that time, I saw my father physically assault my mom, assaulted me, cribbed about small small things with me n her. I saw how unhappy they were, how incompatible my parents were n how messed up individually they were. While growing up I never had a positive example of a marriage including elder relatives n during that time I ended up being anti marriage as an defence mechanism in order to not get hurt n ruin somebody’s life. I grown up with a fear of marriage and a fear of commitment where I didn’t want to be in a position to spoil someone’s life because I don’t want to harm anybody’s life in anyway. Presently she is about to leave for Canada in a weeks time n has asked me to decide what I want to do about getting married. She has said if I don’t give her answer before she leaves, her parents will start searching for a guy n she will slip out of my fingers. She has recommended me to go for therapy to get rid of my fear. It’s just few days remaining and I am still scared n confused