I don’t want to be the fool…

Memorial Day 2022, my boyfriend of 4.5 years invited me to hang out with his family and friends at his moms house but wanted me to come over early to help them set things up… he told me to come over at 10am which is a pretty normal time for us to see each other on days I don’t work. I get this Instagram message and request for follow from some random person… I didn’t think anything of it because I get random spam things all the time, so I never looked at it. I get halfway to my boyfriends house and he texts me “I fucked up.” No other context… I call him and ask him to clarify and he just keeps repeating “I messed up so bad” , “I’ve ruined everything..” , “I’m so dead…”. I asked him so many times what happened, when and how. Never getting an actual answer from him. I pull up in his driveway and he walks out. Him; Face red and basically hyperventilating pacing in the grass a foot from my car door. I open my car door and I ask him what happened… he says again “I completely fucked up and ruined so much….I did something so bad and I have no idea why I did it”. He finally tells me what he did. We are a pretty open couple about things, we can’t really keep secrets or surprises from each other without the other figuring things out (Christmas/ holidays/ date plans). He told me some girl added him on snap and sent him a picture of themself and requested one back… well it completely backfired on him bc this person screenshotted his picture and sent it to everyone on his socials… family and friends… every account he followed and said they’d delete it if they got $$. Well my boyfriend asked for my phone after telling me what happened and deleted & blocked the person and message sent to me and everyone else (I never even saw it). When he finally told me, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t cry but more I laughed thinking it was a joke or a prank.. He asked me if I wanted to leave and for him to tell his friends and family that I wasn’t feeling good and couldn’t hang out.. I told him no bc if I didn’t attend, they would know something would be wrong. So I spent the rest of the day at his house with everyone as if nothing happened, trying to enjoy the get together.

—Am I dumb for staying… for not leaving when I cold have?

I have terrible thoughts and dreams constantly that this will happen again, or something like this will happen again.. I’ve always believed in talking about problems with your S.O. and I’ve mentioned to him about this situation how I felt about a week after it happened but he didn’t have anything to say besides that he was sorry and that it was incredibly stupid and he wishes he could take it back. Almost as if me talking pushed him into a corner of shame. But things just feel weird on my end and I don’t know if it’s just me feeling weird or if something’s really wrong. My heart is shattered and I can’t express this sort of pain to him (or anyone else bc I don’t want them to hate him).