I feel at a loss

Hi there! So I am here because I don’t know what to do right now. I feel like my marriage is at a vault and I really don’t know how to move past this. So we’ve been married 12 years 2 kids. My issue is that he lies to me about smoking pot. It isn’t at an addictive level not everyday kind of thing but my issue lies with we’ve been down this road before. It has caused us financial issues we are in a much better place monetarily right now so I don’t see that happening again but always a fear and he just won’t be honest! He tells me it should be fine because there are worse things. I have left once before because of this but came back to work it out and it’s a roller coaster things go well for a while then it’s the same thing all over again. Due to the pandemic I am currently unemployed and cannot find childcare that o can afford even if I return to work. Where I live cost of living is very high I would never be able to stay in the same state as my husband on my income alone even with his assistance. My family is on the other side of the country. Overall he is a good dad I don’t want to take the kids from him but i don’t know I want to be with him any longer. I also don’t know if I can support both kids on my own anywhere without working more then seeing them so I really feel stuck.