I forgive you

writing this to you means i have to think about everything that happened with us and is there enough time to write it all? you were the love of my life.. i loved you with every part of me.. i thought we had something beautiful and real, but i guess it wasnt all that after all. i told you everything that i went through in the past and you listened and promised to never hurt me like they did.. but you did. i trusted you and you let me down time after time and because i loved you so much i kept forgiving you .. you lied, cheated and broke my heart into a million pieces. I should have never given you the chance after the first time you cheated and lied straight to my face. i dont know how you claimed to love me when all you did was hurt me. you don't hurt the people you love.. but with you, it felt like you went out your way just to hurt me. You went behind my back and slept with someone who tried to break us up.. you lied and told me you wouldn't let it happen because you "love me so much and I'm the best girlfriend you ever had." yet you allowed it to happen and lied to me about it and i had to find out from HER. I forgave you & I wanted things to work out so badly with you but you just took advantage of me and manipulated me into staying with you by claiming you were going to "kill yourself" because you felt so bad about cheating.. yet you continued to cheat.. time after time. we dated for 6 more months after you cheated and then you broke up with me because you weren't ready for something serious. and when we broke up all these women came forward and told me what you tried to do .. and the messed up part of it is that some of them were my friends .. you broke me and hurt me in unspeakable ways .. you destroyed me. i stayed up every night crying.. wondering where i went wrong and why i wasnt enough for you. because something you dont know is that.. when you cheated, I lost love for you .. a lot of it & during the 6 months we were together after it happened i tried so hard to gain all the love back & eventually I did.. i loved you with all my heart again and i was ready to tell you .. but when we met up that day .. you said you weren't ready for a relationship and i dont think you understand just how bad that hurt me .. it destroyed me.. and when we met up on my birthday and you told me you don't love me anymore .. my heart dropped because i was still so in love with you. but I... I forgive you.