I hate the way I feel
So I have been in a relationship for 4 years with my boyfriend who I love so much and we know we have a future together.
I have really struggled with my feelings for my ex for a long time. We had an online relationship for a few months and then when we broke it off we didn't speak for years. He's not just any ex, he's my half sisters husbands son, so kind of my nephew but only through marriage. He is 2 years younger than me (let's call him Tom).
A year and a half ago I was staying with my sister and we rekindled our friendship which slowly turned into harmless flirting. When I left and after a tearful goodbye, we text all the time for a few weeks. I kept telling myself I wasn't getting attached but inevitably I did and I hated myself because I love my boyfriend and I never thought I would be in this position. Eventually Tom stopped replying to my texts and we just grew apart and no matter how hard I tried we couldn't get that friendship back. Embarrassingly I would drunk text him and sometimes we chatted. A few times we sexted and I feel awful about it but yet it was nice to feel wanted. I asked him if he liked me, just yes or no, no mixed signals because I was tired of it all. He said no, but he came back a few weeks later saying he lied. He's had 2 girlfriends in the past year and he said he didn't want to ruin things with her and with my boyfriend.
Now when we speak we just argue. And again he gives me mixed signals. I want a life with my boyfriend! Not these feelings 😞
@teaandtoast124
Hey, I'm so sorry you're going through all these emotions, it's not easy. and ugh I hate arguing :(
Please feel free to message me anytime, we can chat! 
@wonderousHeart14 thank you so much! There's obviously a lot more to the story but couldn't fit into the character limit 😂 would be great to chat to someone and get a nonbiased perspective x
@teaandtoast124
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