Infidelity in 4 year relationship
So here's my story. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we just had our 1st child together this year. 2 months ago I saw a text that he deleted on his phone to someone telling him what room to meet her in. I confronted him about it and he decided to come clean about him cheating. When I asked how long this has been going on he said since the very beginning. He was cheating on me with different escorts and having phone sex.
I had a feeling about a year into our relationship that something might have been going on but I kept putting it to the side. The times I have confronted him with evidence he would say that nothing is going on which I knew was a lie. Now I am trying to figure out what to do. We want to try working through this and he has agreed to do both individual and couples therapy but it doesn't seem like he's putting in the effort.
Is there a way to get over infidelity in a relationship especially when a child is involved? Have any of you gone through this and stayed together. Any pointers will help.
Thank you.
The first thing you always need to remember is that it’s never your fault when a partner cheats on you. You can tell your story to a million people and I guarantee that the first response they have is to leave him, we all know it’s easier said than done. It’s no longer just a simple case of a partner cheating on their partner when a child is involved, everything changes. That being said whether you like it or not all your future decisions now impact this child, you need to figure out how to keep it healthy and mature to the point where the child is not hurt in anyway. I suggest talking about shared custody but also moving on and finding a healthy relationship for yourself. The last thing you want is your kid growing up thinking any sought of infidelity is okay. That being said I hope it works out for you.
Thank you for replying and you're absolutely right. I feel the same way and don't want our child to think this is ok. But I also want to see if we're able to get through this. I guess seeing my parents get through it when I was younger where my stepdad cheated on my mom and now they've been together for 20+ years makes me see that we might be able to get through this ourselves.