Insecurity about relationships
Hi I find myself when I enter into a relationship and when we're about to go on our first date, I tend to get panic attacks and I can't cope with it so much that I end it quickly.We don't go on first dates and it seems to create some resentment in my partner. It usually ends in 2 weeks. I don't have commitment issues, I have these anxiety attacks because I think about all the expectations that I have to oblige to when going out on a date and it makes me panic. (Such as thoughts like: eg do I kiss him or do I wait for him to kiss me? What do I do there? What do I talk about? Do we hold hands? etc.) I get like this because I'm so independent that I don't know how to be a girlfriend. I've never been in a serious relationship and it scares me mostly because I don't know what to do and what are the rules of being in a relationship. I'm more scared that I'll become clingy and I try to give my partner space but when I do that, the feelings fade away quickly and I don't feel anything for them afterwards. Please help me overcome this horrible flaw of mine. :(
Hi there, @thoughtfulLychee9280!
I am glad you reached out to us here on the Relationship Support Community! Welcome. I am sorry to hear about the struggles you are going through in your relationships now and the struggles you went through in the past. Insecurities do tend to get the best of many people most of the time and it is very much common in every other person as it is in you. You are never alone when it comes to insecurities. Every one of us has a bunch of these scary little thoughts from time to time. The best thing about relationships is that we can get together to fight these insecurities and accept ourselves and one another for who we are. Trust is not something you can build in a matter of minutes, and it may seem frustrating to not be able to do anything, but perhaps, the next time you go on a date, breathe and consider thinking that the person you are with is not there to judge you but to get to know you as you are?
If that's not enough, do catch me on message when you'd like to. <3
@imontheoutside
Thank you. I will try that and if it's not effective, I will defintely speak to you in the future. :)
