Internet relationship???
I met this guy online thru instagram. We both like alot of the same music and hobbies, and he recently confessed that he has a crush on me. I liked him back so now we're together. But my parents technically banned me from talking to him even when he was just a friend and i dont know what to do really.
if it helps, he lives across the entire country from me and is the same age as me, same grade, all that.
@lavawolf44
If your parents can control your internet it means you are under 18 thereby jumping into a relationship that is outside of your city is not an appropriate thing to do.
One of the challenge, I find difficult to deal in outside country relationship is to evaluate my significant others and all other who are involved.
I learned that everyone was interested in making me getting married and eventually once they used me they dumped me. I am a man and I worked hard and in the name of welfare not only my earning was taken away from me but also put into extreme debt and my ex walk out with Nationality, walfare money. Lawyers made money out of me.
Be very vigilant in such kind of long distance relationship.
@diplomaticCoconut6613 I will thank you 
@diplomaticCoconut6613
I'm so sorry that happened love, thank you for sharing.
@Prosperkitty
I know and now I am no longer a sweet talker as I used to be. I almost forget to joke, other day even an online dating woman said I am boring person.
Not that I care but sometimes when I look back I feel perhaps I am not fit for relationship anymore.
It's been my experience that long distance relationships rarely work out. That's not to say they never do. This one would seem to be compounded by additional problems
- The extreme distance
- The fact you don't hav your Parents blessing
- I take it your young. Prob don't hav sufficient funds to visit each other
@ChromeLotus yeah I'm young. 14.
@lavawolf44 It's not wise to think about a serious relationship at 14. That's still middle school! Lol. There's still high school and college where you'll know who you truly are........... From what you said both of you guys are better of as good internet friends........ try that?
Try to be your very best and livin' life to the fullest (being popular staright A student and all that) before you think about guys and dates and stuff like that.......... there's still time.........😉
And, BTW, you are doing way better than me at 14. I didn't even have Insta!
Keep skyrocketing!
@ChromeLotus
Yeah, I agree because distance is not easy!
@lavawolf44
That sounds really sweet! I read that you're 14 and I know it's hard but if your parents control you then there really isn't much you can do love 
. But I really want to warn you. You seem like a smart person, but be careful to who you talk to. I know you've heard it millions of times, but when I was your age I ended up talking to a 19 year old who lied about his age. Just be careful :) I'm a teen too and if you ever want to talk I would be happy to!
@Prosperkitty thanks for your advice :)
@lavawolf44
Hey, lava! I'm going to cut right to the chase. It sounds like your parents are trying to protect you and seeing that you are so young, there is really no chance that you two could meet up (it takes a lot of money to fly). So you'd have to wait until you were 18 to really be able to meet this person. That's an awfully long time to wait for someone, especially considering how young you are. You will change pretty dramatically in the years to come, you may not be compatible after that. It's important to know who you are before entering a relationship.
Then there is the chance that things aren't exactly how you imagine it to be. As you probably know, there are lots of people who catfish people online. However I do have experience with online relationships. I was in a ldr for five years and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to endure. I thought this person loved me but I was so disillusioned with him that I didn't want to recognize the major warning signs of being emotionally abused and lied to. He ended up leaving me for some girl in his country, completely ghosting me. I thought I would die of heartache. That's not something you want to deal with at fourteen years old. Heck, it wasn't something I wanted to deal with at thirty years old! lol
I know that you like this person but I'd say wait until you are older to find a partner. It's better to focus on school and developing a healthy self esteem than to chase after guys. I'll be worth it in the end, your heart and head will thank you.
@TrueArrow Exactly
@TrueArrow thanks 
@lavawolf44
I hope my words helped some! 
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the very best of luck! Don't be afraid to reach out again if you need to vent.
@lavawolf44 My only concern here is how well you know this guy. Have you seen him in front of a live camera? That's the only way to truly know if a person is being completely honest about what they look like, how old they are, and even what gender they are. Pictures are NOT enough. Anyone can turn to Google and find pictures for people of all ages.
Please, be careful. You are 14, so the liklihood of you being targeted by someone much older than you is quite high. Even though the internet provides protection from real-life dangers, it is far from safe, especially if plans are made to venture outside of electronic devices and into the real world - together. People have gotten very clever at grooming teenagers online, since it's much easier to lie when the other person can't see your face, so you have to be on your guard against predators.
...With that said, let me explain something, so you don't think I'm saying all of this to be mean or to belittle your better judgment. When I was 13, I was using adult chat rooms frequently. It was how I "handled" my lonliness. Most of my family had decided they never wanted to see me again, so I talked to people to fill a void that I had. Well... Within 5 minutes of being on a chatroom, with a username saying how old I was, it was easy for 10+ men to reach out to me. Of course, every single one of them only wanted to talk about sex. There was one guy who told me he was 17. We then shared kik IDs, and he was 40 years old (he looked old in his photo, and he used his full name for his screen name, so I was able to look him up and find a birthdate). I was fine with the age. When they lie about it, though, that's a warning flag. After a couple months, he started to demand my attention. If I didn't text back within 5 minutes, he'd say that I was "cheating on him," and he'd use words like "baby" and "I love you." It was really freaking weird. Don't go near those guys. He said he's fantasized about being intimate with underaged girls for 5 years now, and that fact alone made me sick, so I reported him to the FBI. If I hadn't, I would have gone through with meeting him, which he was so eager to do.
My point is... You never really know who someone is online. Unless you can confirm through Skype or another cam-related app that they truly are the age that they say, you can't trust them. Ever. And, even if they are telling the truth, that doesn't stop you from running into trouble later on. It is very easy to hide your personality online. You could pretend to be the sweetest, most loving person ever, yet be a monster in real life. It's hard to truly know what someone is like through a little screen. In person, there are all these things you pick up on (body language, appearance, attitude, etc.) that you will never sense online, because we simply aren't able to. We don't feel the energy of people through long distances. We feel, in person, whether they are good or bad people. And, sometimes, we never feel their cues at all, which is why even face-to-face relationships can go horribly wrong.
Just be careful, alright?
@BrokenShadow I definitely will, thanks yes, I have seen him in front of a live camera (facetime).
@diplomaticCoconut6613 @ Prosperkitty @ChromeLotus @AshleySprings @TrueArrow @BrokenShadow I ended things with him. I think we just weren't right for eachother. I'm not sad though, so, please, don't feel sorry for me 
thank you all for your awesome advice though!
@lavawolf44
you are Welcome! Remember always listen to your heart but always do what your brain ask you to do.
Dont Rush give time before making commitment.
And never forget to smile and have a cup of tea with your parents and love once while you can
Good Lucky
@diplomaticCoconut6613 thank you! Youre so sweet
Online dating is NEVER a good idea ( my dad is good example of someone who shouldn't be on a dating site. He married a woman from an online dating site who is just downright nasty). You need to meet someone in person, such as a restaurant or bar ( unless your underage then a bar isn't a good place). Online dating just causes issues.
@lavawolf44
Hi there, it's tough when parents take control like that; it's probably frustrating too as I'm guessing that you really connected with this guy and it would hurt if you can't talk to him ever again. Just understand though that your parents are doing this for your safety; it really is so hard to tell apart true and fake people through the internet. And if say you give the guy the benefit of the doubt, online relationships are hard to work out too, when young, as you do not have the funds to visit each other. It's a different story if he is some guy who you met in school and he moved away to another country. At least you've interacted with him face to face, even if it is now long distance, if you get what I mean?
