Interrupted plans

This is just for me, no comments please.

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I feel like everything that happened within these past few days has changed my mindset a lot. I keep telling myself that things take time. I can’t just demand another person to talk to me. We made headway and he did reach out to me, but his connection is bad. He tried more than once and it just seemed blocked like his signal was terrible. I keep telling myself that this is for a reason. Maybe I should just go with this other “opportunity” after all. I wanted to before. I was going to. But then something happened there.

I am confused. But I don’t know if I can just sit and wait anymore. I’m not really that patient. But I have been anyway. I’ve been through hell. This has been hell.

I guess, at least I know that he wants to talk. I just don’t know when. All of this makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I’m so tired of it. I thought it was going to be over and I could have relief. But now either he has no time to contact me right now or his connection is awful. Or he’s being a coward again. I’m just so tired. So so tired.

I will wait as long as I can, maybe a couple of days or something so that I don’t go completely insane, before messaging him again. I don’t want to be angry or frustrated when messaging him. But I also need to realize that this doesn’t depend on me. I’m not responsible for his actions.

I wish that I could heal from this.

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this is just for me, no comments please.

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