Is it impossible to enter into a healthy relationship in my current situation?
Hiya everyone. Basically I've got a lot of mental health problems and my sons dad doesn't help. There's been abuse in the past and my son sees his dad once every three months at a contact centre.
I've been single for six years and everytime I try to get married/enter into a relationship it is extremely difficult. Due to my mental health and past traumas I have a lot to regulate and process while attaching to a new relationship.
Aswel as that my son also flips out and becomes extremely violent. I don't have any male support for anyone to guide him through it and help him regulate his emotions. All the women including myself are doing everything they can to support him but it makes little difference as he just doesn't have that male support that he needs.
I can't deal with both regulating my mental health and dealing with my sons violence when entering into a new relationship, and I can't expect a new potential to be 'through in at the deep end' right from the start.
I have spoke to my sons dad and asked for him to give me sole custody, as I take full responsibility for my son already, but he refused and is now manipulating my son to say he wants visits every two weeks.
I still feel controlled by his dad and someone recently suggested legal sole custody which I know very little about and will cost thousands aswel as been an unpleasant/un-amicable process.
I do believe having sole custody is in both mine and my sons best interests. I don't know how or whether to move forward with applying for sole custody.
Any comments, support, suggestions, insight or perspective would be appreciated, thank you.
@Sasher Hi, it sounds like you have so much going on right now and I am really sorry to hear that. I know myself how hard it is to get into a new relationship after trauma, plus you have the added stress of your sons anger and ex partners input to your son. Maybe you should look into getting your son a therapist or even som anger management? I suffer myself with anger problems and I find boxing incredibly helpful, it releases the anger through excercise rather others. In regards to your ex partner, due to the abuse etc I am pretty sure there is something that can be done in regards to your son and his access. Getting custody is a difficult process but you are his mother and considering the negative input the father seems to be having on him would work in your favour. I definitely think that's something you should look into. To me it sounds like you are really trying hard to make yours and your sons life good! I know you probably feel lost and extremely stressed but don't give up on hope and happiness it is out there and there is so much support available. Most of the time it's just finding the right support for you, the mental health system isn't always our friend but there are many other support options out there. Keep positive and I wish you all the best.
Hiya @Hayley44 the thing is he just doesn't behave like that when his father's not around, he's generally a really nice, loving, supportivey, understanding and caring kid.
I can't see him (his father) not managing to scare anyone off to be honest.
Thanks for your response and suggestions. I hope for you all the best in your healing. :)
*I can't see him (his father) not managing to scare anyone off to be honest. Either that or managing to get me to the point of being so mentally and physically exhausted that I just give up continuing to look for/bond with someone.