Is it time for me to let go?

[ Very long story ahead & sexual content] My husband and I have been together going on 6 years and I’m fearing we’re at our last. Since the beginning he’s gone behind my back dozens of times to emotionally cheat online & look at porn/porn related things when I’ve asked him not to. A couple years ago I found snapchat screenshots on his computer of some girl and confronted him about it. He swears up & down it meant nothing, he was just using her for attention, etc but I don’t believe it. There weren’t just nudes but also cute selfies and ones where she said she missed him. Seems more like a second relationship to me. Anyways fast forward a couple years and we’ve since then had a child, that came with a very early birth, lengthy nicu stay, and health problems, yet he continues to betray me. The porn thing is a huge issue as he’s completed killed any self esteem I had due to him choosing it over me because of his addiction to it. There have been tons of times where I’ve initiated sex, been told no, just to wake up at 3 am and find him in the bathroom with his phone. There was a good month where we didn’t have sex at all because he was more interested in doing it himself. I’ve demanded we go to counseling if he wants to continue our marriage and he seemed against it for the first couple times I’ve mentioned it. He really believes he can fix it himself. I even sat him down and said “if you have no intention on stopping, then be honest with me. Maybe I could just mind my business and do what I want, and you can do what you want”. That conversation seemed like it rubbed him the wrong way and I guess the thought of me finding another man to talk to the same way he has with other women upset him. I’m tired of this cycle. He promises he won’t do anything again, I give him another chance, months go by & I notice a change, check his phone, find something bad, and it goes over and over again. I love him, I truly do...but I’m no longer in love with him. I rarely want him to touch me and when we do have sex, I find myself more often than not fighting back tears because there’s no spark, no heat, no desire for him. When we met he had plans to join the military and still does. One job he wanted had a 2 year long training and just thinking about not being with him everyday used to completely choke me up. Now I feel like I don’t even care. Not only that but I feel like he guilt trips me every chance he gets. If I’m having a rough mental health day where all I can think about is his constant betrayal and don’t want to show affection, he’ll go “see, I knew you didn’t love me anymore. Maybe I should just leave”. He notices my lack of desire for him and swears it’s because he’s “ugly & fat” (which he isn’t) instead of realizing it’s because of what he’s done which resulted in me not having love for him anymore. He’ll mention how he’s always trying to figure out careers and school so he can make a better life for our son & me, but says “I guess it’s not good enough”. I mean, what does having a nice career, house, cars, etc mean to me if I’m always hurt? They always say if you don’t have trust in a relationship, you don’t have anything. And there is ZERO trust for him. A random girl could message me tomorrow saying she’s been talking to him & I’d absolutely believe her. I’m tired of living this way. I want a relationship where I can trust my husband no matter what. One where I don’t have to spend years with hate in my heart towards him for all of the unhappiness he’s caused me. I want my son to grow up & see what a healthy marriage is, not a toxic one. Part of me wishes I would’ve left him years ago after the computer incident, but then I wouldn’t have my baby. I’ve gotten the whole “just talk to him, tell him how you feel” which I absolutely have in great detail, and it doesn’t matter. I mean, I’ve broken down sobbing in front of him several times and still nothing changed. Like I said, I do love him. When we’re not going through these issues, we’re best friends...but I’m realizing that being buddies and having love for each other is nowhere near enough to make a marriage last. Is it time for me to let go? Can marriage counseling really fix this? Should we just take a break & see what happens? If you’ve read this far, thank you so much. I’ve honestly been dying to get this off my chest.