I still love you

Dear ex.

its been three weeks now and I'm still not sure if breaking up with you was a good idea. I miss you. A lot. And it doesn't help that you've already moved on even though I'm the one that broke up with you. You don't want me to know about her but I do and so does everyone else. I learned what gaslighting meant today and realized for the first time that I'm not the only one to go through that but it's not ok. For me to talk about my problems and you say you're an awful boyfriend. But even tho I realize that I still feel guilty, like I was the one that did something wrong. Maybe I'm dumb, but maybe it's just because I love you.