It's complicated
I honestly don't know where to begin. The last 5 months have been shit. Me and my girlfriend of 3 and half years broke up because of mistakes that were made on both of our ends. On top of that, my best friend found out that his ex wife cheated on him with me after I started living with them for a very short period of time about 4 years ago. He and our other friends confronted me about it last night after work. I admitted to him everything that happened and had a heart to heart with everyone. Everyone told me that after hearing everything that happened, that they had a hard time trusting me, which is to be expected. I felt good in a sense that I felt like a big weight was finally lifted off my chest. But I felt terrible because I had to relive something that I tried so hard to put behind me. Things are still tense between my friend and I and I can't help but feel like I don't know who I am anymore.
@selfconfidentWatermelon5536
Accountability is the first step in being truly able to move on from the past. This doesn't mean you are supposed to beat yourself up over it. It means you can acknowledge the mistakes you made and work to make yourself do better moving forward. Forgiveness is hard, but forgiving yourself is harder. You made a mistake, you owned up to it, and you sincerely apologized for it. You cannot hold yourself accountable for other people's actions but you can for yourself. The lingering feelings you are feeling now are your own anxieties eating at you. If you can continue to remain true to your feelings and holding yourself accountable when you make a mistake, then trust can and will be rebuilt over time. Things may be tense now, but hang in there. You'll find yourself in your healing.