I want to know what exactly happened btw us

guys' pls read whole post guide me hey so I(17) was 15 when went to new school in grade 11 , which was 30 km from my city i went to school everyday went back home by school bus so 1 month passed i made new friends i got to now my friend has gf like i never had any gf i had crushes but they rejected me by saying to be friends only . I was excited to know he has gf she(13) was in 9 grade she used to do his homework they used to met from far away then me my friends she and one other girl were in a group we teased my friend in front of her to try to show us funny, then we talked to her flirted with her in front of him he was not serious at all he told me then we got to know she shared *** of her with him half *** i was excited then i told my friend to leave her so that i can try on her he left i flirted with her 3 4 days make her my gf i flirted asked for *** she denied then just asking asking she sent i left her i feel frustrated i want to study to get good grades i thought she is distraction i left her then months passed i became hospitalized for 1month then recovered in 2months go back to school again messaged her again make her gf i asked for *** asked for pass of *** she denied i abused her verbally i want to know she talks to whom as i know gf bf share pass i got frustrated i was not able to process why i did that i was so so wrong i can't even say i never did that before then i tried to make scenario to make her aware why is it so risky to send like i said i will send it to others i felt absurd but i did it for 3 days she cried told her mother died i even abused her mother then i realized did i just become monster then i gradually started to change then i broke up again by saying to my friend that tell her not to talk to me. i am just a *** why i did this i never disrespected a girl before but whyyyy this timeeeee so one of my friend also took her help too made him a gf which was her friend remember this guy is crucial she talked to him randomly funny way . after this i asked 2 girls to be my friend one said yes one denied i never talked to them after this single convo . then i started to talk to her again i even told her to send msg to my crush 10 grade anonymously as i was not able to move on . after that we also kissed on cheeks she kissed first we hugged after we kissed i left that school after few days to build career then i just sensed like she talks to guy she doesn't have mother other can take benefit i didn't viral her *** didn't shared with anyone except one friend only half without face see then i was changed then i again talked again breakup again again btw that she shared a guy is teasing her sending her inappropriate messages took help of guy whom she helped to make gf the matter was sorted . the guy she helped he left his gf he started to try on her without telling me one day i got to know she told her about guy who is teasing her he went to fight him he addressed her my gf but see his action i abused her like taunt Then we started to talk as friend again as i know he would try on her .then we talked she sent me snaps sent kisses dance videos shared everything tell everything but she denied to be in relationship again one day she asked me he is saying her to kiss 3 time 3 million time she asked what to do i didnt want her to kiss but i said do what u comfortable in she went to his house gave him chocolate went to temple she didn't tell me i got to know form guy brother she was 14 i told her not to goo after knowing she said yes i again asked she love me she said yes but denied to be my gf again she said only friends is good i said bestfriend she said yes i insisted but she denied relationship i asked her password she denied after 4 days she gave i talked to him by being her asked he liked her he said yes i deliberately denied all my relation with her by being her then she took it 30 min after then after i denied her not to go i requested she went again i was in diff city she hugged him first he tried to kiss her she slapped him pushed him i got to know from guy friend they blamed her that she lied on bed but she didn't do it i know its true i confronted she told me she slapped pushed i told her to broke all connection before this i asked my friend who she went to to tell me he just kept his mouth shut i advice him why he left his gf he told no more spice he needs change he even flirted with other girls while being in relation even when he was talking to my current gf when we just reconnected he talked to other 5 girls after this happened i made her block him. from here we came in relation one day my mother caught me talking to her she told my father my phone use was over they just took it from me she talked to me i use pc she shared she helped me to get away my masturbation habit of 5 years . after i got caught i told everything each and everything to my elder sister and grandmother they said i did wrong to her and she also did mistake but it was not cheating . i am from india my gf also talked to my grandmother and sister which is huge thing in india she also introduced her younger brother to me he talks to me randomly she also said her grandmother to send me best wishes for exam by saying i am her girl bestfriend like she was afraid she talked to my grandmother 3 time she accepted her mistake i am completely changes now i know she was suffering from mother loss i didn't respect her feelings i didn't knew what was trauma but when that incident happened i cried i realized what i did to her i watched videos helped her . she told me step by step what happened she told me she had hate from me as i abused her dead mother but she liked when i message her she told her it was his friend only and she denied being in relation with me cause she didn't trust me and she was manipulated by him she was 14 she told me she said i love u to him in dare i know its truth it was dare she said she slapped him pushed him when he tried to kiss she also said she never liked him and also denied his proposal i know its truth but i am hurt why she went again when i told her not to go and why she hugged she told me she thought he is good friend he will never break trust and she told when i she asked me about kiss i said what you're comfortable in do she thought i didn't like her i said but i told don't go after 1st time she said it was still inside her that i didn't love her .Hug part and second time meeting hurting me most and she also sent him dance videos and a video of her cat she sent to me only when they were smaller i asked for big she didn't send but to him she sent so guyssss all i told u is truth i know she was not in relation with me when this happened but she said i love u when i insisted her many times i am confused i know she gave him chocolate as friend because she always give many gifts to her friends like too many . but i am hurt and confused like she showed efforts i showed but what was it i know she doesnt have bad character like she talked to my grandmother even after knowing i told her everything my sister i told her also . i asked chat gpt copilot whether it was cheating chat gpt said emotional betrayal not infidelity copilot said confusion and immaturity my sister also said same immaturity grandmother also . the girl also tried to meet me at my town with his uncle by making excuse that she want to make not from her friend but we failed to meet we re in ldr se guysss she is from good family good values her father left job for her to take care of her her brother his uncle didnt even marry to take care she is so good supports everyone but even girls took her for granted use her for her money gift she just wanted friends to be loyal good to her she do things to take care of them but they always ditch her take her use in tough situation and didn't share happy moment i knew it guyssss i also admitted mistake changed completely but that hug incident is eating me up was it cheating was it immaturity was it confusion what was it i know she got harassed by i knoww it i told her if she didnt slap he can do anything . but guys i dont want to be cheater if she is not then why i blame her if she is why i stay i know she is good girl she just wanted company like she is kind of provider in friendships. but that incident is eating me up pls savee lifee of both of us we are improving trying facing problems guysssss if she didnt cheat tell me tell me exactly what was it pls real whole story telll plssssssss plss dont judge be unbiased guysssss it would mean a lot guyss to usss i want to be relieved. plsssssssssssssssssss its been 7 months