Jealousy problems
I've met my girl online back in October we started dating in January. We don't live near each and we've never met in person. She always talked about her ex's and why she dated them but it never bothered since we were together and they were her ex's. My friend i met on PlayStation (we're going to call him billy for this story) has been friends with her for the past 2 weeks and it's the first time I've ever felt jealous being with her. She has issues with her family so when she's sad she always comes to me to vent. I'm not the best at advice and ik that. Billy in the other hand isn't good with advice either but he knows how to cheer her up and that's where I started to feel jealous. I've always wanted to be there for her when she needed now she doesn't need me anymore and needs him but won't admit she needs him. We've gotten into arguments about this but i the end I've told her I wasn't jealous anymore just so I wouldn't ruin her friendship between them to. Idk what to do cuz if i speak up then she's only going to talk to me more just so she try to prove she doesn't need him. I think she does need him and if she does then the last thing i want to do is ruin her friendship with him. Am i wrong to say that she needs him?
I'm reading everyone else's threads now and in starting to think I'm being over dramatic. People have serious trauma from there stories and I'm just a little jealous. I apologize if i offended anyone i didn't mean to i didn't realize how bad it was for some people. If anyone wants me to take this down i will do so immediately. I don't mean to offend anyone
I heard a quote somewhere and it went roughly like this “it doesn’t matter if your drowning in 50 feet of water or 4 inches, your still drowning.” If you need advice with something, then ask and don’t feel embarrassed. That’s what 7Cups is for (at least my impression of it). I’ve gone through some nasty childhood trauma and the other day I talked to a listener about being stressed out about an assignment. You don’t need to apologize for having problems. As for your girlfriend, I feel like a bunch of this issue is from the toxic standards and ideals around monogamy. It’s not wrong that she needs him, but her needing him doesn’t mean she doesn’t need you, and jealousy is a normal emotion all people deal with, I would suggest looking into how polyamorous folks work on their jealousy. Also, what is this nonsense about needing people? It doesn’t matter if she needs you or not she wants you. And wanting you is just as if not more important than needing you, (Another toxic monogamy standard). I can’t help you that much but I would recommend looking into how poly folks engage in romantic relationships. There are some good social media accounts you can follow, I’m sure there is stuff all over the place, but keep in mind you could find some toxic things. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you try polyamory, that is not at all what I’m trying to say, It just seems to me there are some toxic standards that have been internalized by you and your partner and I think that learning about how poly people get over that stuff would be helpful. We all have been exposed to these standards and have unlearning to do, I’ve personally noticed that poly folks have more experience and need to work on that, and think you can find some good resources about how we do that. I might be completely off but hopefully something I’ve said is helpful. 🎨