Journey of trying to do better!
I'm on a journey to self heal but I'm finding it hard. From what I understand about myself and what I've read in forums, I am a fixer. I spend more time helping significant others than myself, I will but others as number one priority in order to try and help see them happy over my own happiness. This behaviour has unknowingly killed my relationships, my own mind making me believe I was doing the right thing trying to care and support others has worked against me. I've been through alot of pain in my life and the last thing I want to see is the people I care about and love the most feeling alone, unsupported or unloved, as I have felt all of these emotions and at the time feeling these emotions brought me to my lowest feeling moments in life. Has anyone ever been able to get out of this fixer mentality in order to have the relationship they've always wanted? I could do with guidance if anyone has any.
@lightchild111 It is often disappointing to find that other people are unwilling or unable to give back the effort you make for them. It can create a feedback loop in which your fears of being unworthy of love are confirmed, causing you to show more love so that the people you care about don't feel unloved. Don't be afraid to ask for love, to communicate to the people you care about what your expectations are of them, and to take time for yourself to pursue your own interests. It is admirable to put others before yourself and in a perfect world, if everyone did this, the human race would be better for it. Just remember that other people are not mind readers and that there will be times you will have to ask for what you need in your relationships.