Just being a bit lost.

So, I’m Max. I’m 25, Polish, and I’ve lived in the UK for about 10 years.

The situation I’m in is that I’ve been talking to a girl—my ex. She lives in Poland, and at first, it wasn’t a bad thing.

We broke up 7 years ago after being together for 2 years. We were too young and didn’t really understand the adult world, decisions, or what a relationship truly requires. It was a long-distance relationship, and we only saw each other maybe 2–3 times a year for about a week.

Unfortunately, things didn’t end well. We missed each other a lot, and we couldn’t do much because I was still young, in school, and couldn’t work. Seeing each other was difficult, so we broke up in order to mature, learn, and become better people.

However, we kept talking once a year to catch up and see how each other was doing, because it felt like our story hadn’t really ended.

At the beginning of November 2025, I went to Poland to visit my mother. While I was there, I asked my ex if she wanted to meet up, since I was in the country. She happily agreed.

We met the very next day, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I started tearing up like I had just seen an angel. My chest felt lighter, and when I held her in my arms and smelled her natural scent, it calmed me down. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt that happy or comfortable.

We went for tea and sat in a beautiful place with candles where we could relax. We talked about our past slowly and calmly. We also spoke about her moving to a different city and having her own apartment there. We went over everything that happened a long time ago. We laughed and giggled. We had so much fun, and I had never felt that great in my life.

At one point, she asked me, “Do you imagine us being together in the future?”

I said yes. I told her I still felt unbelievably happy and comfortable next to her like nowhere else. She smiled and said, “Me too,” and hugged me tightly.

I was incredibly happy and started thinking about our future together. I walked her to the train station, and she gave me a soft kiss, saying, “See you soon, Max.” On my way home, I felt happy and hopeful about building a future together.

At the beginning of this year, we started talking again more seriously and discussed how we would imagine our life together. After that, she said she would want to end the distance and live with me. I was shocked and very happy.

I told her everything—how we could have our own place, a fresh start in life, and how I’ve worked on becoming a better person. I can cook, fix things, and handle responsibilities—basically all the things to be a good partner.

She said her apartment contract finishes in September and that she would be happy to live with me.

We started talking almost every day without long breaks, and I offered her to come over to see if she would like it. So she visited last week for the weekend (Thursday to Sunday).

I was unbelievably happy to see her. We spent an amazing time together—kissing, hugging, going for walks, getting mocha coffees, doing crosswords, and just being silly together. She brought out an inner child in me that I didn’t even know existed, because I had never felt that happy before.

On Friday, she told me something I wasn’t expecting.

She said she needed to tell me something important. I didn’t think much of it at first, but then she explained that she still lives with her ex-partner. They were together for 2 years and broke up in May 2025. They agreed to continue paying rent together, and she said she didn’t want to be unfair and leave him alone with the payments.

She made it clear straight away that she doesn’t love him, that they have no physical contact, and that they live like flatmates or friends.

It caught me off guard because since we started talking again in November, she hadn’t mentioned this. I went pale and started shaking, even though it was warm. My thoughts became scary, and I was afraid of losing her again.

I went quiet, even though she hugged me and kissed me and tried to calm me down. She reassured me there is nothing between them and that she wants to move out as soon as her contract ends. Hearing that made me happy.

At the same time, I felt overwhelmed because I had just learned something important I didn’t know for a long time. Maybe she had her reasons, or maybe she wanted to tell me in person so she could explain it properly and reassure me face to face.

She kept comforting me, telling me I could cry and let it out, that she would stay by my side and not leave. She told me she is proud of me, that I’m strong, and that I’ve become a better person.

I had never felt that level of comfort in my life.

She went back home on Sunday, and we are still talking normally. I don’t want to overwhelm her with my worries and insecurities, even though she already explained everything I wanted to know.

Since she left, I don’t know how to feel. My mind and emotions feel blurry. Nothing gives me the same joy as being with her. Everything feels grey without her. She showed me what our life together could actually look like.

I cry when I think about the moment I held her face, looked into her beautiful green-grey eyes, and asked her what she was thinking. She said, “What we are going to do tomorrow.”

That was the best thing I have ever heard in my life, and I miss it deeply.

I feel like I can’t function normally without her anymore. I eat less, sleep only 2–4 hours, and I just want her back in my life beside me. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I don’t feel anything stronger than wanting her in my arms again.