Just tell me what you want

Weve been split up for a bit now, yet anytime we see each other we crave each others attention either subconsciously or consciously. You say we had fights when we were together, at least that what you said originally, because now you dont even seem to remember the fights. Youve told me a million times and I understand that you need to work on yourself and just have space away from guys in general. But how am I suppose to believe that when you still go out to parties and I see you with other guys and even right in front of me you flaunt yourself around with another man. If I did that to you, you would be devastated and I would look like that asshole. But here I am still waiting for you because you said that you need to be mentally stable when we try to start talking again, then when I say theres hope you get mad at me yet you know deep down that its true. Im tired of you having control over my emotions because it worries me that if I hold on too much youll just end up breaking me again. I just want you to tell me what you want already.