Long post—Am I wrong for avoiding situations that make me jealous and upset?

There's a lot of background info that I need to lay out for this to make sense, I guess. I'll try to condense it as much as possible. I've been friends with my group of online friends for almost 4 years now. I've met them in person when I've had the chance to travel and we all get along great. Usually, we talk through Discord and whatnot. Unfortunately, I started to like one of my friends sometime last year and still have feelings for her. I told her in person the last time I got to see her back in January, and she doesn't feel the same, but she told me that I'm still her best friend and that I'll always be her best friend. She told me nothing would change between us.

On a side note, things have been at an all time low in my personal life. I'm in the worst depressive episode I've faced in my life and it's been going on for 7 months now. I attempted back in December, I'm in recovery and going to therapy, and I can say that there's been improvement, but I still need to learn how to accept and manage my emotions. Usually, my unhealthy go-to is self-isolation, but I've been trying to avoid doing that. Unfortunately, a lot of the times when I get upset is when I'm talking to my friends and I get jealous or feel excluded and it's all because of the false perception my mind makes up when it comes to the friend I like. (1/2)