Low-Self Esteem in a Good Relationship
I'd like to share my struggle as of late. I've been in several relationships before in which I would constantly cater to my partners wants and needs and would never feel as if I'm enough. I am in a relationship now, he treats me very well which I'm not used to. I often find myself comparing myself to his female friends, getting angry with him when I notice he doesn't text me back but is active on social media (long distance), and his texting is off. I feel this constant back and forth of if I give him more attention, he backs away and vice versa. I'm really struggling to trust him but not because of his actions, but maybe I don't trust myself? I'm not sure I've fully learned to love and trust myself and I don't want to hurt him by breaking up with him. I want to learn to love myself and stay with him at the same time. I'm not sure what to do.
@citriclime - Thank you so much for sharing this! This reminds me so mcuh of a situation I was in just a few months ago. I definitely don't have the answers and I wish I could help more, but I guess I'd like to tell you what I wish I could have told myself.
Firstly, I'd like to say that I'm really happy you're now in a relationhip where he treats you right, but equally I understand that it can be a difficult adjustment if it's something you're not used to receiving in the past.
I strongly relate when you said how the more you want him essentially, the more he pushes you away - this can be so difficult to deal with, and personally I found it really hard to back off. I can't express this enough but what I really really wish I did was just spent some time with myself. When anything exciting or sad happened, I would tell him straight away before I even realised what my own thoughs and feelings were on it. So I guess just take time for you. Discover something new, perhaps take yourself on a 'date', and just get to know yourself - as sometimes it's easy to lose yourself in a relationship.
I know it can be so so diffiuclt, but I want you to know that you seem incredibly insightful and compassionate and most of all WORTHY of anything good in your life. Please feel free to pop up any time - I'd be more than happy to help out in any way that I can:)
