Missed Opportunity

1/2 I've been friends with him for around 6 years now. He's always been there for me. He's helped me get through a really nasty breakup with an abusive boyfriend who used to be his friend. before he was mine. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and he always knew just what to say to get me back down to Earth while always being openly honest.

A couple of years ago, we grew a lot closer and we went on one date...though it wasn't really a date, since I invited him to go out with 2 other of my friends. I couldn't stop thinking about how I didn't want to lose him if it doesn't pan out. That day, I got my period although I wasn't supposed to. My friend brought me a pad, a pair of new underwear and stockings (since they were soaked through) but I was so embarrassed and kept thinking that it might be a sign that we shouldn't be together, and remain as friends.

So I called it off. Said that I couldn't keep up but that I wanted us to be friends.

A few months later, I dated another guy for a year and a half and it also ended kinda badly. I felt absolutely worthless. He made me see the value that I have and I got through that dark stage too.

A couple of weeks ago, we grew closer again. When I was drunk, I asked him if he would marry me if no one else would, and he promised that he would. It was a drunken proposal, and he wasn't drunk, but it still meant a lot to me.

When I completely broke down at work, he invited me over to his place, and I felt better. I feel calm and safe around him.