Missing someone
I've been having an extremely hard time moving on from a breakup... I know it sounds cliche but it is a well known pain for a reason. What makes it 10x harder from any of my other breakups is that he was literally my twin... His life experiences were so close to mine and he struggles with so much of what I do he understood exactly what I was going through and it's so rare to find a person who has been through exactly what you have. He and I were both adopted and we both had been through foster care and a lot more specific things. We both are very active people, we have ambitions for our lives, and we love adventure. Yes, I loved him but he was my best friend too and losing that was even harder than "breaking up." What made him so special is that he loved me with his entire heart but he prioritized his life over me but still made time for me. That's exactly what I want because dating at a young age is extremely hard but if both people put their studies and life goals ahead of them and focus on that while loving someone at the same time that is extremely hard to find a guy that will do that. I didn't want a guy who just put all his time and energy into me, I wanted one who had goals and wanted to achieve things with his life and I found one. He ended things almost 4 months ago because he pushes away people he loves when he is going through things in his life and moving on has been extremely hard for me. I have been trying to fight my emotions and better myself but it's so hard. I've been throwing myself and my energy into my job, and traveling. I'm scheduled to fly to Central America and Europe coming up and I've been working my butt off with different fundraising things to try to get my mind off of it. None that really seems to be working because he is still on my mind so much especially because I have to see him so much. Please someone help with ideas how to stop loving him
When was the last time you talked with him ? Sounds like he needs someone like you even though he tries to push you away. Is it worth trying to reach out ?
I haven't talked with him in about 3 months. I did try to reach out about a month after the breakup and he was not interested, he told me nicely that he thinks we are better off as friends because he's trying to figure out his life which I get but it's sad that I've lost him forever because of that instead of growing together. He actually is working on himself though, he isn't dating anyone else or even flirting with anyone else so I know he is telling the truth because he has been through so much in his life
Your love for him is a beautiful thing, even if it needs to be platonic now. See how being friends feels. Go on dates with other people for fun, not to find "the one." You're likely younger than you feel, and this is a great time in your life to explore... If you never find out what else is out there, you may regret it (and resent him for it). If you're meant to be together, it will happen in its own time, but for now, I think the best antidote to longing is acceptance.
I know it's better to be friends now even if it really hurts, but I don't date for fun I date for a future because I did start dating for fun one time and it's just not for me
