My husband thinks I don

I had a bad childhood (experienced every type of abuse possible) I thought I had it under control since I am a functional adult with a good job and a happy family. Recently, I learned that my husband feels like Im not attracted to him which makes me feel like a terrible person. I cant imagine what hes been dealing with and Im not sure how long he has felt this way. I love him more than Ive ever loved anyone and I am crazy about him, but I cant touch him. I freeze, I will lay there begging my self to move, but I cant. Its the dumbest thing because I fantasize about him constantly. The things I would do to him if I wasnt so scared.

I emailed a psychologist to see if I could get an appointment but Id love some advise. I dont want to lose my husband. We are the definition of a perfect match. We dont fight/argue, our parenting method is the same, we love the same things and view the world the same.

I knew it would be an issue some day just not so soon. Last night he asked me if I was grossed out by him or if I found him unattractive but like I said I find him very attractive and Im not grossed out I just feel awkward/stupid/sexually inexperienced when it comes to initiating any type of physical contact. I do not know how to connect with him (physically/sexually)

I was hoping he would understand that Im not being distant on purpose, but he had a happy childhood so he cant understand or put himself in my shoes. Hes apparently tired of feeling this way and Im scare he will leave or at the least find a woman that can satisfy his needs.

What the heck am I gonna do?