My severe anxiety

Hello, so I am a college student taking an undergrad med course.

I love my course, I've been trying to study so hard just to reach a good grade, I also want to be included in the top 5 but sadly my grades are not high enough. I want to excel in school also but my shyness and timidness stop me, it's a good thing I'm currently doing online classes, so that I don't embarrass myself that much, but I can't continue to be like this. I also want to excel, show them that I am also good, I badly want to go out of my comfort zone but I don't know where and how to start. I want to speak be vocal and cooperative but my anxiety is so severe to the point that I can't think of anything relevant. I so bad at verbal/ public speaking, so I tend to just shut up. I don't have friends, well I used to have but I ghosted them when the pandemic starts because I feel like I won't grow with them, they are like emotional barriers for me, it was hard to decide it, but now I feel more at peace with anxiety and loneliness at the same time, (get me? do I even make sense?) because I have no one to talk to, not even my family, we're not that affectionate, we don't speak about our feelings and problems.